summer – Empowered Flower Girl

With so much drama and chaos happening in our world from the fallout of COVID-19 to civil unrest, I had to revisit a topic I blogged about a few years ago. And now with EVERYONE and their mama online … literally (your grandma and great grandma are trying to figure out Zoom) social media engagement is at an all-time high.

And that means more opportunities to engage with people – some of whom you may want to avoid.

In 2017, I published “How to Eff Up Your Summer in 5 Steps.” Pardon my crassness but I had to be direct given the climate at the time.

The blog was mostly aimed at young people from middle schoolers to college students. But let’s face it, many adults are involved in online drama.

Fast forward to June 2020, we’re witnessing many states open back up just as summer starts to sizzle. Here’s our chance to make summer great again.

But countless media reports have already shown: people are messing it up before it truly begins.

From posting inappropriate, offensive and down right mean comments to participating in ridiculous online challenges for likes, there are some surefire ways to have an effed up summer break. Don’t be that kid or grown up.

So are you ready? Here is the 2020 list:

5. Get in a Twitter fight with a celebrity … or a president. We all love to voice our opinions about celebrities who do wild and obnoxious things, have bad hair days or overuse photoshop. But resist getting into a battle with celebrities, politicians or anyone who has a fanbase as dedicated as Beyonce. They sting. And they will come for you, boo.

4. Put your friends or family on blast via social media – any platform. Sure, best friends can disappoint us and sometimes our siblings can do jerky things. But, there is a better way to bring this to their attention. Instead of posting a shady status update, pick up the phone, send an email or schedule a Zoom meeting. Just kidding on the Zoom meeting. But you really should talk it out.

3. Post incriminating pics or videos on Instagram or TikTok. This is one of the best ways to kiss your summer internship, college acceptance or job security good-bye. Even if everyone else is doing it, DO NOT post pics of drug use, private parts or illegal activity.

2. Make racist or homophobic posts and comments. This one should be obvious but in the wake of what’s happened in the U.S. over the past month, apparently it isn’t. People are losing their jobs and livelihoods. Think before you post, seriously. I always say, “what’s in my head doesn’t have to be said.” Making racist and homopobic comments is rude (first of all) and also mean. If you want to stay employed either change your thinking or don’t post your thoughts.

1. Do something productive. Of course this doesn’t follow the format of the other tips because you actually SHOULD engage in activities that inspire you and those around you. Kindness is the key to a kick-butt summer. Volunteer or advocate for a worthy cause, get a summer job or learn a new skill. Staying occupied will keep you out of trouble and give you a confidence boost.

So in conclusion, don’t be a jerk online, stay off the Internet when you’re in a crappy mood and overall, think before you Tweet or Snap or whatever you do.

Hope your summer is fiya.

Jordan and Rasheda — Jordan and I during an outing to Greenfield Village

Meeting your mentee and her family for the first time can be an intimidating experience. You conjure up all kinds of scenarios in your head – a disgruntled kid, who is resistant or a suspicious parent, who questions your every move. These circumstances may play out like a drama in your mind’s eye. Thankfully, none of those happened for me. In fact, my experience was the opposite.

It’s been four years since I was introduced to my mentee Jordan. To this day, we’re still learning from each other. She’s an inquisitive, mature and friendly 12 year old. Being a mentor is one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had since graduating college. Interestingly enough, I became a mentor for Alternatives for Girls during my senior year at Wayne State University.

Jordan’s mom Carmelita had this to say about our mentor/mentee relationship:

Rasheda and Jordan — Jordan and I four years ago at our first group outing

“Having a mentor has introduced Jordan to different activities and experiences. She’s grown so much because of it. You all have done things together that I haven’t had the opportunity to do because of my unpredictable work schedule,” she says. “She looks at you like a big sister. She’s always excited and looks forward to the next meeting.”

Still not sure about mentoring?

Here are a few insights that may help you:

– You don’t have to be rich or famous or have super powers. Honestly, you don’t even have to be employed to be a good mentor. Kids just want to know you care.

– Most youth seeking mentors are good kids. While some youth may come from troubled backgrounds, many of them come from stable home environments. They may have challenges in school or socially. All children are different. Get to know them.

– If you have a big heart and a little time, then you’re a great candidate. Sometimes, a phone call is all it takes to make a difference.

When you feel inspired to pay it forward, consider donating your time to a young person. Visit www.mentoring.org for additional resources.